


you can tell me anything

by evaneddie



Series: dhylen writes one shots [14]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: M/M, confession of feelings, late night heart to heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 15:10:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20932265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evaneddie/pseuds/evaneddie
Summary: buck and eddie have a late night heart-to-heart. based around the prompt “you can tell me anything” .





	you can tell me anything

**Author's Note:**

> send me a prompt via tumblr (@evaneddie) if you would like more oneshots!

“You can tell me anything,” Eddie reassured him. “Anything.”

In every way, Buck had been acting off lately. It started about a week prior. There had been a rough few calls, requiring all of the energy and strength the team could muster. On the fifth call of the day as the sun started to set behind the skyscrapers in the city, Buck started to gravitate away from Eddie. Neither had left each other’s side almost all day, and it had originally started out like any other shift. Conversation was flowing freely between them, about everything and nothing. Plans were made for that night that involved the baking of cookies with Christopher, and probably a food fight that would start with some flour and end in a mess that would not be cleaned until the next day. Of course, that last part wasn’t spoken aloud, but he had some idea as he knew exactly how Buck was. He was a child, just as much as Christopher sometimes. He could be mature when the moment called for it, but that wasn’t often on his days off. Said plans ended up getting cancelled on Buck’s behalf, which upset both the father and son duo that were really looking forward to it. Something about not feeling too well, and not wanting Christopher to catch anything. Eddie did not believe his lies for a single second.

Thankfully, Christopher was sleeping soundly in the spare room of Buck’s new place, so they could have a little bit of privacy. He had not been expecting any visitors that night, so when there was a knock on the door, he didn’t think too much about it, and walked towards the entrance clad in just his sweats. Eddie was standing there with a sleepy Christopher resting his head on his dad’s shoulder. Buck had said his hellos and told Eddie to let him sleep. Eddie was almost going to ask Carla to take him for the night but decided against it just as quickly as the idea popped up. She had a family of her own, and while she would have eagerly agreed to look after the boy, Eddie didn’t want to deprive her of time with her family. It would have been brushed off as no big deal on her part, but it didn’t sit right in his gut.

Buck sat upright on the couch, whereas Eddie stretched out as much as he could without resting his feet on Buck’s lap. It was not the most comfortable of positions, that was for sure. But it didn’t matter. The whole situation was blanketed a thick fog of awkwardness, so it wouldn’t have made any difference even if they were sitting on a luxurious cloud. Staring off into the distance, not really focusing his eyes on anything, Buck took a deep breath in. No matter how much he prepared for this moment, he would never be ready for it. If he continued fidgeting with his fingers for much longer, he was sure to scratch a hole in the palm of his other hand with his nails. It stung, harshly, but it kept his mind at ease. Not entirely, but enough to keep him from combusting right then and there. A lot of things about Eddie made his body want to shatter into a million pieces. Even just the most random things, like the way he squints his eyes when the sun shines directly on him, or how he smiles when Christopher does something silly.

He now regrets that he didn’t rush back to his own room and grab something from his drawers to put on over the top half of his body before answering the gentle knocking. A thin sheen of sweat coated his body, his insides overheating from anxiety. However, on the outside he felt so cold. “I know,” he managed to finally let escape.

“Look at me, Buck.” Eddie never got demanding. It was not like him, so the tone of his voice sent a shiver down the other’s spine. Buck obliged, slowly, but followed the instructions nonetheless. Concern was written all over the shadows and highlights of Eddie’s face. A silence fell over the moment, and Buck forced himself not to stand up and walk away. “Please,” Eddie brokenly whispered, “talk to me.”

As a kid, Buck was never good at expressing his feelings and worries. The only person that was able to get him to talk was Maddie, his sister and best friend. Even that was only sometimes. At around the age of twelve, he had developed a confusing crush on one of his classmates. All he remembers now, is that compressing feeling in his stomach as if it were a soaked item of clothing and someone were wringing it out to expel some of the liquid. Maddie had helped him through it, told him that it was a normal thing to experience. After said crush moved to a different town, Buck had pushed those emotions to the back of his mind. It was something entirely forgotten and never spoken about again until he met Eddie, and all those memories came flooding back. Memories of the first boy he ever loved. Loved of course is used loosely, he _was _only a tween after all. But, to him at the time, it was love.

Sitting there with his co-worker at almost one in the morning, he shakes his head as an almost answer to Eddie’s plea. It was more for the fact that he was incredulous towards himself, but it worked either way. He took in another deep breath and let it out between pursed lips.

“I’m bi. Bisexual.” Buck refused to look over at the other man, terrified to witness his reaction. His sexuality never came up in any conversation before. Not just with Eddie, but in general. Sexuality isn’t even something he cared much about. Labels were never his forte, when it came to anything, but this one worked for him. This one made him comfortable within himself. Saying just those few words sent a wave of relief washing over him. Now, he was anxious for other reasons. Scared of the questions to come, of the next thing he knows he has to confess. Everyone on the team knew that Eddie was bi. It wasn’t something that he told them all, but something that was detected early into his time there. So deep down, Buck knew that it wouldn’t be a big deal to Eddie, but that didn’t stop his stupid brain mulling over the _what ifs_.

Eddie sat up, crossing his legs under his body. It was one swift movement, graceful, like everything else about him. Gingerly, he reaches out a hand and places it on Buck’s face, gently pinching his chin. He grips it and turns Buck’s face to meet his. “That’s why you haven’t been yourself lately? That’s why you were ‘sick’ tonight?” He speaks softly, caringly. When it comes to Buck, he always does. He brings out his soft side. Just like Christopher - in a different way of course.

“Well, not just that alone.” _Here goes nothing_, he thought to himself. _It’s now or never._

Eddie creased one of his eyebrows, prompting him to continue. His hand dropped from Buck’s face. He didn’t completely remove it from his body, but let it rest on his shoulder.

“Eddie, I’m bi. I mostly have a preference towards women but am attracted to the occasional guy. I’ve known since I was young. At least, I think I have. But I was able to forget about it. Pretty well actually,” they both huffed a small chuckle. Only Buck would be able to procrastinate figuring out his sexuality. “It’s easy. Well, it was. Until I met you.”

Everything makes sense to Eddie now. Was Buck in love with him? He knew his own feelings towards the man, but Buck was incredibly hard to read sometimes, no matter how much they knew about each other.

“Last week, when we had that really busy day, we went to a call where someone had slipped on some paint at the warehouse they worked at downtown, the guy that called it in -” Eddie could see where this sentence was headed. Buck was jealous. More jealous than he had ever seen anybody before. His face had gone a deep shade of pink, almost on the red side. A frustrated groan from Buck interrupts his own words.

“When he gave you his number, I wanted to just punch him. I hated the feeling it gave me in every fibre of my being.” Eddie was taken aback, Buck was not a violent person towards other people for an unprovoked reason. Hearing those words come from him was shocking.

“Buck, I didn’t even enter it into my phone. He asked if I wanted to go out for a coffee some time, and started to give me his number, which must have been what you heard. But I declined. Yeah, I enjoyed the attention, but I am in love with somebody else.” Eddie smiles in disbelief at how open Buck was being. It was refreshing to experience.

“Oh,” Buck murmured. _How could I be so dumb? _Of course Eddie was in love with someone. He deserved to be with the one that doesn’t take their sweet-ass time in realising their feelings. Eddie deserved the entire universe and more, but Buck barely saw himself as a star. “Right, of course. Sorry. Shannon is a great person; you and Christopher deserve that.”

Buck stands from the couch, wanting so desperately to escape the conversation. He couldn’t just leave visitors alone in his home, that would be rude. Maddie taught him better manners than that. Like sure, he could turn into a bug _emotionally_ to remove himself from the situation, but that would not be of assistance. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if it would help if it could be done physically. He just needed to let his mind wander elsewhere so he wouldn’t have a breakdown. There was an empty wall to Buck’s left, and it was looking like it would like to have a frenzied dance with his fist. He freezes on the spot as he feels a hand on his shoulder. The same hand as seconds earlier, but on the opposite shoulder. He hadn’t even heard Eddie remove himself from the couch, let alone walk the two strides it would have taken to get to him.

It felt like he was being stabbed in the heart, and whoever was taking his life had decided to torture him and twist the knife slowly. Buck understood that he was in no way entitled to the love Eddie would give if he had decided he wanted to. Especially, he did not deserve the unwavering adoration of the child in their lives.

“Shan and I attempted something, for the sake of Christopher, and for the familiarity of it all. We both love our son, but we just don’t work. We still spend time together, but for the monkey. Not for each other.”

Buck slams his eyes shut, squeezing them as hard as he could muster. Clusters of kaleidoscope patterns exploded behind his eyelids. _Gah, get me out of here_, he wills some high power as if he believed in all that stuff.

“Evan, it’s you. It’s always been you, from the day we exploded the ambulance.” So much tension and competitiveness was between them for their first couple of jobs together. The job where they removed the live round from a guy’s leg and admitted they would happy to have each other’s backs any day was when Eddie had really seen Buck for who he is. Not love at first sight, not at all. But from that moment, everything changed. Friends, at first. Admiration, and then a school boy-like crush. It all hit simultaneously. Besides his sister and parents, nobody really calls him by his first name. Even with his family, they would opt to call him Buck more often than not. It was different, to hear it coming from Eddie. It was nice.

“What?” Buck questioned as he turned around.

“It’s you, dork.”

A laugh emits from Buck, and he roughly pulls the collar of Eddie’s shirt, not caring that the force may literally rip it. Buck lips smack into Eddie’s so hard that he is sure they are both going to be bruised tomorrow. Eddie felt such a passionate kiss against his own mouth, something that had never occurred to him before. Not even on television had he witnessed something rough but gentle at the same time. It was so full of love and lust, and Eddie rests a hand on the bare back of Buck, while his other has settled on his right cheek.

Buck starts to walk Eddie backwards so his calves hit the edge of the couch they were not long ago seated on. The outside world drowned out into a barely audible muffled buzz underneath the soft sounds of the two men. Somehow, unbeknownst to Buck, Eddie was able to do a whole one-eighty spin and pushed Buck down onto the chair. They were now mirroring how Eddie was laying earlier, except this time he was hovering over the top of Buck. There was no way in hell Eddie was going to let him take control of this moment. Buck deserved to feel loved, to feel cared for. The only way Eddie knew how to do that, was to domineer the kiss. Especially after the emotional turmoil he went through because of Eddie. If Eddie had only spoken up earlier, maybe Buck would not have felt so bad about himself. Maybe he would not have had so much hatred towards himself. Jealousy was a good look on him. Not so much the aftermath of it all, but hey, it opened his eyes to his feelings so they aren’t complaining.

If you had told Eddie just last year that his best friend would be making out with him on a couch, he would have laughed right in your face. It would have been a little bit too far fetched for him to envisage.

Buck curled his arms upwards to touch the warm flesh of Eddie’s neck and hold him closer. _Please, don’t ever end_, Eddie begged the universe. His lips were softer than he expected, and red raw from the worrying of his teeth against them earlier that night when he was home alone. To Eddie, they were perfect, everything about Buck was perfect to him. Craning his neck a little bit more, Buck parts his mouth to grant the other access. Eddie pushes his tongue inside and moves it choreographically around, as if they have practiced multiple times before. It’s smooth, unlike anything Buck could have imagined prior.

They pull apart, and slowly peel their eyes open. Most of the time in any type of media, be it books or movies, the focus seems to be on the blue shades and sometimes the green ones. Those colours can present in some really gorgeous ways, especially when mixed together in swirls and specks. But damn, if he was going to continue being honest with himself, he wanted to drool over the colour of Eddie’s eyes. The beautiful blueberry honey hue of his eyes made Buck fall in love all over again. It pulls him in, and holds him tightly in place, just as actual honey would do.

“What?” Eddie asked. “Don’t look at me like that.” It was the most admiration filled stare, so innocent and pure in a moment that was anything but.

“Your eyes, they’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. I don’t know how else to look at you.” Never before had Buck opened up this much, had left himself vulnerable out in the open like this. It made him feel both uneasy and serene. Two contrasting feelings, like an oxymoron, but somehow it worked.

Eddie responded to the comment by placing a faint peck on Buck’s forehead. Buck smiled at the sweet gesture before he leant up and pressed one of the same zeal to Eddie’s lips. Proceeding to place them lazily across the surface of his mouth and cheeks, Buck buried his hands in Eddie’s thick, dark tresses.

“Sorry -”

He presses another kiss gently to Eddie’s lips. He knew that this was something he would never tire of no matter how many more times he go to do it. No matter how many mornings he would be able to wake up to those lips lightly pressing to his skin to pull him from slumber, no matter how many quick pecks he could steal while at work, he would not tire of this.

“For being -”

_Kiss._

“A jealous ass -”

_Kiss. Kiss._

“This last week.”

“I’m glad you came to your senses,” Eddie started to tease. “I’m not sure how much longer I could have lasted dealing with your grumpy dickish-ness.”

They laughed in between kisses and Buck turned a soft shade of pink again from embarrassment. Soon, Eddie’s shirt had been tossed on the floor beside them, and he moved his hands to the waistband of the baggy sweats that Buck was - hopefully not for much longer - wearing.

“Wait,” Eddie stopped himself. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” eagerly replied Buck, “very okay.” Consent was something Buck had only ever experienced coming out of his own mouth. It was always something he’d like to ensure he had the go ahead on. He had only been with women in an intimate way, sure he had lusted after other guys before, but never this intensely. Why do women never ask consent when being with a man? Not as though he minded asking them, but it felt nice to know somebody cared about what he wanted, that Eddie cared. More than ever, Buck fell in deeper in love with his best friend in that moment. In all truth, he never thought that to be possible, but here they were, making out on the couch, just loving each other.


End file.
